The Guilt

Do you know those women who seem to have it all together?  Yes, they may have challenging circumstances, like being a single mom; but they go about their lives in an irritatingly orderly fashion.   These women always seem to handle themselves with aplomb, and they make it look easy.  It’s like the girls in high school, you know, the pretty ones.  But not just pretty, smart. fun, organized, neat, well groomed, impeccable. 

My whole life, I’ve been trying to be that girl.  However, I’m not that girl.  I’m a mess.  My room, is always a mess, my clothes are a mess.  I don’t curate my wardrobe like the girls in the first five minutes of the Devil Wears Prada.  You remember.  The girls are carefully assembling their ensembles, taking great pains to make sure they look amazing.  Whereas, the protagonist of the movie, throws on whatever is clean (I totally relate to her). 

I’m so tired of feeling guilty for not being perfect.  I’m so tired of feeling lesser, because I’m not Martha Stewart.  I was not raised to run a household.  I was raised to bring home the bacon, not cook it.  Mind you, I can cook, it’s just  that I expend so much energy feeling guilty for what I can’t do well, that it just crowds out my mental energy from focusing on things I’m really good at. (I’m sure that was a run-on sentence).

I believe those women, the seemingly indefectible ones, have the confidence to be who they are and; not feel guilty about their flaws.  They realize that they are only human, and are modest enough to recognize their limitations.  I also believe they are working within their strengths, instead of always focusing on their deficiencies. 

Based on these beliefs, I now intend to embrace my singleness, and, fashion my life; my way.  My first order of business is to hire a personal assistant to help me get organized, and stay organized.  Yes, that’s exactly what I’m going to do.  I don’t have a man in my life and all the domestic expectations therefrom, so; without contrition I’m going to hire a professional.  My domestic guru will also serve as an instructor to my kids, to help keep us all on the right track. 

There, now I feel better!  I’ve got to make some calls.  I’ll let you know how it turns out!